WHEN THE RIGHT LIFE ISN'T RIGHT ANYMORE

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TO YOU
I close my eyes and feel your presence with me, though your body is not here, I can feel your soul. It reaches out to me from across miles and miles of land. It calls to me...a longing ache...as if it is waiting for me to merge with it. You are all the special things in my life I have lost...from the simple to the hardest...you feel a void in my heart that has been missing for such a long time I had forgotten what it felt like to have it complete. When you read my wordsyou are moved by them knowing they were written long before you knew me though you feel as if they were written for you, as if they were waiting for you to find them. You have become the first thing I think of when I open my eyes and the last thing I see before I close them. I don't know what you look like, nor do I care. You are everything I love and desire all hidden away from my eyes. A mist in my life that covers me protecting me and sheltering me from pain and cruelty. I never wish to leave the protective covering of your presence, to feel you surrounding me with love and with beauty. I had planned on writing a story for us, a story of love that was so deep it would stand the test of time and it would end with our love triumphing over all obstacles placed in our paths. But I cannot because a story has an ending and I don't want this feeling to ever end. I long to hear your voice , to be comfortable to converse with you as easily as I do now on this paper. How we speak in our love making and in our talks the words just flow from my heart and reach out to you. I sit here now not knowing if I'll you will ever read this, but then I immediately think, how could I not share with you what I am feeling? How could I not share these things with you? How could I make such a decision that would not allow you to know what you have done to me? But how do I? How do I continue to reach out and grasp what I cannot have? But I will ......I will continue to love you as long as you'll let me, I'll continue to hold you as long as you'll let me. I'll continue to want you as long as you'll let me...and when you feel it is time for me to go, then I will...I will look back and remember every word written, every word spoken and every touch that was made, and I will not forget....
From me

Once upon a time, I thought that work and career were the "hard" parts of life to figure out, and that the personal side of things would fall neatly and more or less automatically into place. Oops. This assumption has left me with a great career, along with my family and all the friends I've gathered along the way. Which is kind of a lot to have already, if you think about it. But, being a selfish glutton, now I want the rest of the perfect life. Living in NY, having a great job, friends and family, AND BEING IN LOVE. The right life is just not right anymore without love. In the process of living, there often comes at time when we suddenly look around at where we've ended up in our lives and it looks nothing like what w expected it to. We remember mapping out where we wanted to go with our relationships, our work and our accomplishment, but insteads, we inexplicably find ourselves in places and circumstances that bear no resemblance to where we hoped to be. We feel like a stranger in a strange land, except that this strange land is the life we are leading. Somehow, we've gotten lost on the way to happiness. Perhaps in site of our effort to make our hopes and dreams come true, we have end up in a very different reality.You wanted to be in a good relationship and marriage but have been prevented by circumstances beyond my control from achieving it. I want to be living one kind of life, but feel trapped in another. Time passes. We are busy working, loving, living as best as we can....trying to forget. All of us have appointment with destiny....something good is waiting us in a place we didn't expect to find. Your might think like me that life is heading in the wrong direction...with no map to guide you toward what you are looking for...a relationship, a career break...and you feel lost and disheartened. Then, in the space of one moment, you and I will be guided to an encounter that would changes our lives. By going where we didn't intend to go, we ended up where we were intended to. Take right now for example....you didn't intend to be here, but you are and you found me .Each of us is offered powerful moments when life invites us, or force us to stop and pay attention to who we are, where we are , how we arrived here, and where we need to go next. Sometimes these moments of awakening manifest as the coming to a crossroads on our path, when we are presented with a choice to trun this way or that..Turning point can be quiet..almost invisible and therefore hard to predict. But today....you are at your turning point in your life. Will you take a risk to love again and met your soulmate. I think we all know that when you fall in love, the emptiness kind of drift away...because you find something to live for. Each other. We are in different locations, in two different times. I am writing this at one moment, and you are reading it later. but somehow, in this mysterious now, we met and our own alchemy take place. The mystical poet Hafiz writes: "Between your eyes and this page, I am standing" Do you feel me? Will you trust me? You must be thinking that you stumble on me by accident? No, everything happens for a reason, fate has takes hold and leads us in the right direction. It led you to me. I want to share myself with you. Yes I have been hurt. I am sure youre past disappointments and hurt as well and still do. We will erase the pain for each other. Then I have my fears. Will I be what you want? What you need? What you've dreamed of? In your eyes will I be perfect? Will you think me the most beautiful man you've ever seen? Will you love my body? Will you be willing to make the drive to the city from wherever you are? Would you make the drive one hundred times if you knew this was what you wanted? Or will you fool yourself into being the woman who is in love with the "beautiful stranger? I can't wait for the day when I'm on my way to meet you. I long for that excitement. I can't wait until I get my first glimpse of the real you, and hug you for the first of many times in your life. Everyday I wish for you as I have so much to tell you.

It seem that everyone looking for the "BEST", the tallest, richest, handsome. I am looking for the "RIGHT" person. The "right" person is the person who will bring the best out of you. You see, I am looking for the experience of being with the right person. A sense of belonging, acceptance. Woman who look great are a dime a dozen--its the woman who helps me feel, the one who give me the experience I want is the one who I am willing to take a leap with. I realized that the things I really enjoy, the things that give me the most pleasure and make life worth living, are all things I already have. A walk in the park, some quality time with family and friends. An hour in the sun, No woman can give these things to me or take them away, so there's no reason to act as though the world will come to an end if that random conversation with a woman that doesn't develop into a relationship but a major obstacle for finding a partner is that I'm not interested in dating either. I can't imagine cycling through women after women. It seems pretty brutal on the face of it. And it takes a large toll on my mind, body and spirit. The motto is: AVOID the PAIN. Most people love checklist consist of physically attributes that doesn't go to the core of a person's character. The beautiful blond may have a terrible problem with anger. A person can look like a movie star, but is she reliable...

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